Sorry for poor quality. Playin with the logos and CTA. Liz and I worked with Mark Edwards today on copy, he suggested we use a 1. 2. structure for the headlines. My X. My X. Not sure how I feel about that, but I went along with it. Also changed it to My Kill, because he doesn't call them his victims. They are not "weak," but rather are deserving of their consequences. Here are a few copy attempts per Jackie and I, while we wait on copy from Liz:
TAGS
Killer's Signature
Signature Kill
Killer's Trademark
The Signature
Trademark Killing
(The) Serial Killing
My Signature
The Killer's Trade
The Killer's Mark
Leaving a Mark
Choose your Mark
Sincerely, Dexer (per Liz)
BLOOD SLIDE IMAGE
Not all trophies are created equal(ly)
My kill. My work.
My kill. My code.
SARAN WRAP
(inspired by Liz's line: There's no saving the spoiled.)
Saving the spoiled? I don't think so.
Don't believe in saving the spoiled.
I don't save the spoiled.
I don't think those are working because "spoiled" is too far stretched. But just a thought. Feedback would be terrific, as an art director I am always stumbling along with my copy :(
With the tags above, I feel like there is a disconnection now. What if you keep the tagline with something about Dexter's signature line. And maybe add a headline like on the slide: My collection. (something to explain a little bit on what we are looking at, then the tagline comes in and pays off the headline. Try that.
ReplyDeleteRight now, copy is still in need of help. It's not as strong as your idea.
Art direction wise, why don't you put a lockup of all the elements in one. Use the empty space to place the lockup. Didn't we talk about the layout you have above where there is no hierarchy. You need to art direct this so that the eye of the target flows smoothly. There are multiple elements right now. Color tone wise, make it more cold. Get rid of warm areas. Play around with the saturation.
This is not my group, so take it or leave it, but I would not actually use the word "signature" it is a little too punny.
ReplyDeleteI've been saying that from the beginning tim, but the instructors and the rest of my group are set on something with signature. It's whatever.
ReplyDelete