Welcome humor lovers,
By now it's pretty clear that most people will do just about anything to get on camera. With that in mind, we took a big chance. Hidden cameras were placed in several cities across the country, in the name of entertainment. Regular consumers joined together to form an enjoyable extravaganza. We want to know what you think. Vote for your favorite "performer" and rate their originality.
Let's get started.
I like the tone of this.. My suggestions are to make the copy speak more. Right now the opening line seems flat.
ReplyDelete"Welcome humor lovers", (Im thinking, who the heck is that.. people don't think in terms of them selves as humor lovers.) CUT this and replace introduction with
By now it's pretty clear that most people will do just about anything to get on camera.
(use a bigger font)
(and have the rest be the body copy)
With that in mind, we took a big chance. Hidden cameras were placed in several cities across the country, in the name of entertainment. Regular consumers joined together to form an enjoyable extravaganza. We want to know what you think. Vote for your favorite "performer" and rate their originality.
Let's get started.
(this connects back with the introduction still)